These are some of my all-time favorite lyrics.
About a year and a half ago, I came home from school and felt like my entire nervous system would crash at any given moment. Which doesn't make any sense because nothing too special happened that day. But I found myself yelling at everyone, so I retreated to my room, closed the door, and went on YouTube. (Music has always had a therapeutic affect on me.) I heard this song for the first time (acoustic version) and broke down crying. It was the beginning of a healing process for me, one that will probably never end, but so be it. I still think this song is very powerful.
Enjoy.
On Fire
Switchfoot
They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you need to leave
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be
But everything inside you
knows there's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
filled with empty words
And you're on fire
When He's near you
You're on fire when He speaks
You're on fire burning at these mysteries
Give me one more time around
give me one more chance to see
give me everything You are
give me one more chance to be near You
When everything inside me
looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take
and I'm on fire
when You're near me
I'm on fire when You speak
I'm on fire burning at these mysteries
I'm standing on the edge of me (multiple x)
I'm standing on the edge of me again
I'm standing on the edge of me
I'm standing on the edge
I'm on fire
When I'm near You
I'm on fire when You speak
I'm on fire burning at these mysteries
Your mysteries
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
i dunno
When I look at something, I have a tendancy to critique it before I praise it. So today when I looked out the car window and saw houses and trees and cars, and perceived it all as beautiful, and the flaws did not diminish the beauty at all, it was a brief striking moment. I quickly pondered if that is the way God sees the world. Then it was over.
When I meet a person, I try to understand who they are by understanding what they've been through in the past and where they are today, without judging them. Just to understand the individual. I guess I don't like to judge people because, although I may not agree with the way they've responded to their past circumstances, I will never know if I would have made the same choice. If you let them, most people will give you a reason that made sense to them at the time their decision was made. You can see how they believed they were doing what they believed best in their eyes and hear it in their voice. I have to believe that a higher purpose was at play whether it seems logical or not to me, or to the person whose decisions are in discussion.
When I look at a culture, I look at the "lowercase people", the people who are the most looked down on by their culture. The way they are treated tells me how strong the culture is.
A law of physics: "An object is only as strong as its weakest point".
To me, this means that it's easy to flatter the strong people, more daring to praise the poor.
I was talking to my mom in the car once about buildings and how the centuries-old stone buildings in Europe are still standing in good condition, and they are so much more artistically appealing then the rectangular buildings that always seem to be breaking and being torn down and reconstructed around here. I asked why and immediately said Well, that was a stupid question. Certainly not lack of resources. Money. Our culture supports the idea that it's best to gain the most money from the smallest output. Basically, it's cheaper to build something with weaker materials and easier to build something simple than it is to build something that takes years to design, years to build out of quality materials; therefore, it must be better to barely create something weak than to try to create something strong. So I concluded that this culture is founded on waste; it's bound to crumble from the inside out.
I've read two different accounts of people who have visited Darfur with the intention of helping the people there and giving them hope, and the knowledge that their sufferings have not been forgotten. Both accounts, one by Jon Foreman and the other by Eduardo Verastegui, express the humility experienced by these travellers when they found that they were given much more than they gave. They were surprised to see joy and hope in each individual's face, much more than they see here.
Mother Theresa was once asked to give a speech to recieve the Nobel Prize. In her speech, she said that we have everything, but we in the West are the truly poor, because even as we are financially secure and physically healthy, we have no foundation of love in our own homes. This is a link to the speech.
I've never read anything from Mother Theresa before except her quotes that are everywhere. It is worth taking a minute to read the speech. It's hard to find things this beautiful said anymore.
Do you remember when we were just kids
and cardboard boxes took us miles
from what we would miss;
schoolyard conversations
taken to heart,
and laughter took the place
of everything we knew we were not?
I wanna break every clock-
The hands of time would never move again.
We could stay in this moment
for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now?
Hey, is it over now?
Amazing how life turns out the way that it does.
We end up hurtin the worst
the only ones we really love.
~From Inevitable, by anberlin
When I meet a person, I try to understand who they are by understanding what they've been through in the past and where they are today, without judging them. Just to understand the individual. I guess I don't like to judge people because, although I may not agree with the way they've responded to their past circumstances, I will never know if I would have made the same choice. If you let them, most people will give you a reason that made sense to them at the time their decision was made. You can see how they believed they were doing what they believed best in their eyes and hear it in their voice. I have to believe that a higher purpose was at play whether it seems logical or not to me, or to the person whose decisions are in discussion.
When I look at a culture, I look at the "lowercase people", the people who are the most looked down on by their culture. The way they are treated tells me how strong the culture is.
A law of physics: "An object is only as strong as its weakest point".
To me, this means that it's easy to flatter the strong people, more daring to praise the poor.
I was talking to my mom in the car once about buildings and how the centuries-old stone buildings in Europe are still standing in good condition, and they are so much more artistically appealing then the rectangular buildings that always seem to be breaking and being torn down and reconstructed around here. I asked why and immediately said Well, that was a stupid question. Certainly not lack of resources. Money. Our culture supports the idea that it's best to gain the most money from the smallest output. Basically, it's cheaper to build something with weaker materials and easier to build something simple than it is to build something that takes years to design, years to build out of quality materials; therefore, it must be better to barely create something weak than to try to create something strong. So I concluded that this culture is founded on waste; it's bound to crumble from the inside out.
I've read two different accounts of people who have visited Darfur with the intention of helping the people there and giving them hope, and the knowledge that their sufferings have not been forgotten. Both accounts, one by Jon Foreman and the other by Eduardo Verastegui, express the humility experienced by these travellers when they found that they were given much more than they gave. They were surprised to see joy and hope in each individual's face, much more than they see here.
Mother Theresa was once asked to give a speech to recieve the Nobel Prize. In her speech, she said that we have everything, but we in the West are the truly poor, because even as we are financially secure and physically healthy, we have no foundation of love in our own homes. This is a link to the speech.
I've never read anything from Mother Theresa before except her quotes that are everywhere. It is worth taking a minute to read the speech. It's hard to find things this beautiful said anymore.
Do you remember when we were just kids
and cardboard boxes took us miles
from what we would miss;
schoolyard conversations
taken to heart,
and laughter took the place
of everything we knew we were not?
I wanna break every clock-
The hands of time would never move again.
We could stay in this moment
for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now?
Hey, is it over now?
Amazing how life turns out the way that it does.
We end up hurtin the worst
the only ones we really love.
~From Inevitable, by anberlin
Monday, August 10, 2009
4:45 am
4:45 am - I cannot go to sleep and either my cat is often moving around under my bed, where she has not been in a couple years to the best of my knowledge, or there are mice moving around inside my wall near the recently-opened vent. I think I know which it is and I'm not too comfortable in my room right now. I think I'll be sleeping on the floor downstairs until either the vent in my wall is covered or wall-dwellers go extinct, whichever comes first.
Maybe warm milk and a flannel quilt will do the trick.
Good night.
Maybe warm milk and a flannel quilt will do the trick.
Good night.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
hey.
lowercasepeople.com
hey.
i've had a lot to say lately, but i (obviously) haven't posted any of it. there's too much to say, not enough time to say it, not enough space to say it, so i haven't bothered to attempt.
i've just sat here staring at the screen for 3 minutes trying to remember what one of the many things i've wanted to post was about, but i've produced nothing more than a blank.
sorry. next time i'm up at 3 in the morning, unable to sleep with a mind that refuses to be silent, i will put on my slippers and blog my heart out.
"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."
"Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed."
"The chain reaction of evil must be broken or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
"If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control."
~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
hey.
i've had a lot to say lately, but i (obviously) haven't posted any of it. there's too much to say, not enough time to say it, not enough space to say it, so i haven't bothered to attempt.
i've just sat here staring at the screen for 3 minutes trying to remember what one of the many things i've wanted to post was about, but i've produced nothing more than a blank.
sorry. next time i'm up at 3 in the morning, unable to sleep with a mind that refuses to be silent, i will put on my slippers and blog my heart out.
"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."
"Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed."
"The chain reaction of evil must be broken or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
"If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control."
~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Modern-day Chivalry
links to a (semi-)new concept:
Midevil Knights
Holy Chivalry and Tales of Chivalry
I read what I can of these and I noticed the second link is aimed at a male audience. I think that females are as important in this "battle" as the men, if not more important. My mom once told me that disrespect for unborn human life is not going to end until the women begin fighting for it. She's right. It's easy to see how the mothers are directly involved in this battle, but all women are called to raise and protect children; it's in our programming. Although being a genetic, blood mother most definitely strengthens the maternal instinct, you do not need to have a baby to have the maternal instinct.
Also, women should practice modesty to help men see past their bodies and respect them as a mind and soul, as an equal rather than "an object", which creates empty, broken relationships and weakens humanity as a whole.
It makes me angry when I hear a woman put men down in the name of feminism (dictionary.com: "the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men"). The true name for this is sexism (dictionary.com: "the belief that one sex is naturally superior to the other and should dominate most important areas of political, economic and social life"). These definitions speak for themselves.
People were made to live together, to coexist.
"We were made to be lovers, bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."
Midevil Knights
Holy Chivalry and Tales of Chivalry
I read what I can of these and I noticed the second link is aimed at a male audience. I think that females are as important in this "battle" as the men, if not more important. My mom once told me that disrespect for unborn human life is not going to end until the women begin fighting for it. She's right. It's easy to see how the mothers are directly involved in this battle, but all women are called to raise and protect children; it's in our programming. Although being a genetic, blood mother most definitely strengthens the maternal instinct, you do not need to have a baby to have the maternal instinct.
Also, women should practice modesty to help men see past their bodies and respect them as a mind and soul, as an equal rather than "an object", which creates empty, broken relationships and weakens humanity as a whole.
It makes me angry when I hear a woman put men down in the name of feminism (dictionary.com: "the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men"). The true name for this is sexism (dictionary.com: "the belief that one sex is naturally superior to the other and should dominate most important areas of political, economic and social life"). These definitions speak for themselves.
People were made to live together, to coexist.
"We were made to be lovers, bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Millions of Faces
Sometimes I wish I were not fallible, and other times I'm thankful that I am. Sometimes all I can see are the difficulties I create for myself and I want to give in, I want to give up and say that the fight is not worth it anymore, if the fight ever was worth it. Other times I can see what I could gain or create because I'm standing firm and resisting the urge to quit fighting - which is the surest way to loose the war - to loose the resolve and desire to win. To loose my passion for the cause. To forget to persist.
I don't know what the purpose of all this matter around me is, any more than I know the meaning of life, any more than I know the reason of my own life. I've got an idea that it's all about loving and being loved and learning who we are from eachother.
But who knows? Maybe it's better to waste and destroy materials and gifts, or worse still, tear eachother down and ignite anger and hate. Maybe creating division is the surest way to ensure strength. Maybe united is not the way we stand. Maybe the Dark side of the Force is the better way; the quick and easy path is not so bad after all. Yet, I remember: "Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny," . The promise of escape is temporary, a mere remedy. It is not true as Truth, absolute and everlasting. It turns your freedom against you in ways difficult to realize, but powerful nonetheless.
"We were made to be lovers, bold in broken places..."
Love's truest definition is not a feeling, but a choice to give yourself to a cause out of humility and respect.
"...Millions of faces
are looking for a movement.
cause everything's stuck
and everything's frozen,
everyone's broken.
And nobody moves
and everyone's scared
that the motion will never come.
This is the incompletion
stuck in a line.
LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT."
~Switchfoot, Love is the Movement
I don't know what the purpose of all this matter around me is, any more than I know the meaning of life, any more than I know the reason of my own life. I've got an idea that it's all about loving and being loved and learning who we are from eachother.
But who knows? Maybe it's better to waste and destroy materials and gifts, or worse still, tear eachother down and ignite anger and hate. Maybe creating division is the surest way to ensure strength. Maybe united is not the way we stand. Maybe the Dark side of the Force is the better way; the quick and easy path is not so bad after all. Yet, I remember: "Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny," . The promise of escape is temporary, a mere remedy. It is not true as Truth, absolute and everlasting. It turns your freedom against you in ways difficult to realize, but powerful nonetheless.
"We were made to be lovers, bold in broken places..."
Love's truest definition is not a feeling, but a choice to give yourself to a cause out of humility and respect.
"...Millions of faces
are looking for a movement.
cause everything's stuck
and everything's frozen,
everyone's broken.
And nobody moves
and everyone's scared
that the motion will never come.
This is the incompletion
stuck in a line.
LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT."
~Switchfoot, Love is the Movement
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Puddleglum Rules
Hey.
It's been a while since I've posted anything. Finals are finally over and summer is wonderful. Grad parties, summer jobs, books, movies, little to no stress, . . . it's wonderful to contemplate and awakening to slow the pace for a while. I'm very lucky.
I have been replaying scenes from my favorite books in my head over and over the past few weeks. It kinda starts driving me crazy when my mind has a hard time climbing out of the books and into what's happening around me in real life. I hesitate to call it reality because my favorite books are "The Fairy Tales Retold" by Regina Doman; they are modernized versions of The Fairy Tales of The Brothers Grimm. Sometimes, like one of the characters in these stories, I think that fairy tales are more real than real life because of the truths illustrated in simpler, clearer, more obvious ways than in real life.
Fairy tales are beautiful, simple, honest things that call people as individuals, not by the masses, to see what is normally hidden (or hidden in plain sight) and become or reveal the part of themselves that can be greater than even they themselves can imagine. Maybe that's why I like fairy tales so much: They call people as individuals to be something more than what they know. To conquer dragons and defeat spells with courage and honor. To stay true to one's heart and fight for what is good. Standing firm and true in the face of battle, in the face of the ugliest side of humanity, in the face of the storm. To live always in the truth, though the price may be our lives or tremendous suffering. To offer our lives for a greater cause.
Maybe in the face of real life, this sounds more like idealism or even insanity than something worth living for or something worth dieing for. But I must say that I prefer these midevil ideals to the modern ones of pleasure and self-importance which seem to force themselves from all angles. So I will not settle for less than what I know does not need to be impossible. I will live according to these convictions to the best of my ability.
Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's the funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies making up a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play world.
~Puddleglum to the witch, about the paleness of her underground kingdom in the face of his image of Narnia
"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair", by C.S. Lewis
Everything inside you
knows there's more than what you've heard;
There's so much more than empty conversations
filled with empty words.
And you're on fire...
~Switchfoot, "On Fire"
Love is a decision, not a feeling or a moment.
Nothing worth being is easy.
"Speaking the truth is what makes people trust you."
~Sully, Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman
It's been a while since I've posted anything. Finals are finally over and summer is wonderful. Grad parties, summer jobs, books, movies, little to no stress, . . . it's wonderful to contemplate and awakening to slow the pace for a while. I'm very lucky.
I have been replaying scenes from my favorite books in my head over and over the past few weeks. It kinda starts driving me crazy when my mind has a hard time climbing out of the books and into what's happening around me in real life. I hesitate to call it reality because my favorite books are "The Fairy Tales Retold" by Regina Doman; they are modernized versions of The Fairy Tales of The Brothers Grimm. Sometimes, like one of the characters in these stories, I think that fairy tales are more real than real life because of the truths illustrated in simpler, clearer, more obvious ways than in real life.
Fairy tales are beautiful, simple, honest things that call people as individuals, not by the masses, to see what is normally hidden (or hidden in plain sight) and become or reveal the part of themselves that can be greater than even they themselves can imagine. Maybe that's why I like fairy tales so much: They call people as individuals to be something more than what they know. To conquer dragons and defeat spells with courage and honor. To stay true to one's heart and fight for what is good. Standing firm and true in the face of battle, in the face of the ugliest side of humanity, in the face of the storm. To live always in the truth, though the price may be our lives or tremendous suffering. To offer our lives for a greater cause.
Maybe in the face of real life, this sounds more like idealism or even insanity than something worth living for or something worth dieing for. But I must say that I prefer these midevil ideals to the modern ones of pleasure and self-importance which seem to force themselves from all angles. So I will not settle for less than what I know does not need to be impossible. I will live according to these convictions to the best of my ability.
Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's the funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies making up a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play world.
~Puddleglum to the witch, about the paleness of her underground kingdom in the face of his image of Narnia
"The Chronicles of Narnia: The Silver Chair", by C.S. Lewis
Everything inside you
knows there's more than what you've heard;
There's so much more than empty conversations
filled with empty words.
And you're on fire...
~Switchfoot, "On Fire"
Love is a decision, not a feeling or a moment.
Nothing worth being is easy.
"Speaking the truth is what makes people trust you."
~Sully, Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman
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